Homeschool Diligence: part 3 of 3 Battle for Diligence

Read the first 2 articles entitled “Diagnosing Laziness (part 1 of 3)” and “Diligence versus Laziness (part 2 of 3).”  Now you’re ready to read about the nitty-gritty of battle.

These small (or large) battles should never usurp that primary objective to love, nurture and provide for our children.  The challenge looms large, but is achievable.  These tactics of battle are to be executed with tenderness and caring, not with anger, as much as is in our power to do so.

Battle Tactics -
 Use an assignment list or a student planner – I use lists for younger children and student planners for older kids.  I write out everything for the week or month.  I include all social engagements.  I need to keep track of how ahead or far behind the child is at least daily, if not several times a day.

The most useful tool in our school – is my digital kitchen timer. I keep it with me wherever I go while school is going on.  It works out best if I tell the child what subject to do next and give a time limit, "You need to be done with math in 45 minutes."  When the timer goes off, they have to quit, even if there is only 1 problem to finish.  Setting the timer for the next subject, telling the child what subject and time limit, I have them respond with an acknowledgement of understanding, “Yes, Mama.”

 Isolation - Whatever subjects aren't done after ample time (according to the timer) have to be done in their room.  If all of school isn't done by the end of our day, the child has to go to bed without being able to read or watch TV or whatever fun stuff we're doing as a family.  Sometimes, I'll make sure we're doing fun stuff, like dancing or a game of Uno just as the child has to go to bed.  Remember the motto : make disobedience more painful than obedience.  Obedience is joy.  Disobedience is painful.

Loss of Privilege - I take one away at a time until we end up at Martial Law or they change their behavior.  Privileges that work for us are:

• In between meal snacks
• Sweets
• family meals – loose eating the same food as the family (they may have to eat peanut butter sandwiches (no jelly) and water for dinner and sit with us when I fixed a great meal we're all eating in front of them.  This will be more painful to a sensitive mother’s heart than to a rebellious child.

Remember the Rules of Engagement – You are the parent.  Your mission is to be the parent in this battle.  Anyone who is not the parent, can not take or maintain the authority of the parent. They do not have the wisdom or loving discipline to effectively handle the authority.  Hostile take-over or pilfering of authority away from the parent will not be tolerated.  You are the parent.

More privileges we take away:

·        reading except for school .

·        toys

·        TV

·        talking

·        freedom - They are attached at my hip and have to join me everywhere I go including sitting outside the bathroom door on the floor while I'm in there.

Saturday School - If school isn’t done by Friday’s end, due to laziness, my child has to do a full day of Saturday School.  Not only finish school from the previous week, but do a full 5-6 hours worth of assignments in addition to Saturday chores.  We have them recite Proverbs 12:24 "The diligent hand will govern, but the slothful hand will be enslaved." I only have to impose 1 or 2 of these a year for them to work like a demon on Fridays.

Playdates - we don't skip these. With the permission of the other family, we'll go to a playdate and the child who still has school to do has to take it with us and can't play until it's done.  It's shocking how quickly and correctly they will do the work in the car on the way there so as not to miss the playtime.  It’s a very motivating experience.

Exit Strategy - Initially, you may only have a modicum of success.  Take it and run with it.  Your parenting job will still require huge effort, so revel in the small successes.  However many years it has taken laziness to take hold in your child, give consistent, loving discipline that many additional years to instill diligence.   Diligence will replace laziness and you will have given the world a hard working, competent, reliable adult who contributes to the good of society.