Happy Graduation, Emma!!

It was surreal finalizing Emma MacDonald​'s high school transcript tonight. Today she finished her last day of homeschool high school.

ADHD, a personality that blew the walls off our house with violent extremes of exhilaration and tragic sorrow (sometimes within 60 seconds of each other); epic successes always came with equally large failures and mistakes (and epic emotions to accompany both). 

A lack of impulse control resulted in broken bones, broken friendships and tears (from siblings, too).  The ocean of waves of anger because of the tyranny of being forced to do math, "AGAIN, TODAY!?!" (everyday).

I spent so much time on knees for that child -- begging God to get us through the next day.

 

I publicly proclaim all this to say, "Look what God has done."  Today, this grown woman strives for temperance and wisdom and to only do God's Will. She admits when she is wrong and is generous with her time, talents and praise of others.

 She still blows the walls off our house with her larger-than-life personality. She also graces our family (our community & our world) with her advanced cooking skills, the music that flows out of her, and she is the pied piper of fun (and trouble) in our house.  She's NEVER enjoyed academics, but through self-discipline and fortitude, she spent the last 2 years raising her GPA and completing all her school work.

Raising this girl has been a wild ride and there were months/years I suffered mightily.

SHE HAS BEEN WORTH EVERY EFFORT!

Some of my favorite memories:

Baby Story 1997

Blast from the Past 2002 - Emma jumped out of the 2nd story window at 4yrs old

Quote of the Day 1/15/07

Things that go bump in the night

Kids "Helping" Accident #547

Quote of the Day

Kids "Helping" Accident #548 & 549

Quote of the Day

Seeds & Fertilizer - This story epitomizes Emma's childhood

Quote of the Day

Happy Birthday, Dd#2!

Our girls at the ACRL Banquet For Life - Emma sang in public for the first time for 400? people

Ear piercing angst

Creeper In My Life - THIS is my !*FAVORITE*! Emma MacDonald song!!!!!

Always Forward @ F3

gf, df, sf pizza

Something Greater CD Funding -- YOU DID IT!!

  

12 Years Done -- 12 Years To Go

Homeschooling can be surreal.  I had 4 and then 5 kids to raise, feed, play with.
I spent 12 years educating this kid.

- She was EASY to raise (compliant, sweet, compassionate, fun)

- and HARD to school (she was totally smart and EXPECTED that I would give her challenging work -- which was very difficult when she was reading and analyzing Don Quixote for fun in middle school)

- and required me to be PRAYERFUL to mother (she spent most of her high school years fairly sick and I not only worried but worked to get her healthy -- it's still a work in progress, but she's getting better -- just slower than I'd rather).

As she's getting better, she's sassier and more fun than ever!

 

Now that she's 18 and graduated from homeschool high school, I've got the first 12 years of homeschooling under my belt.
So I begin the next 12 years while I teach 1st grade all over again this year.  This will be my 5th time teaching 1st grade and the last time I teach it (that I know of)...

Being done/beginning...It's all a little -- SURREAL.

How Do I Prepare Myself to Teach High School?

Not everyone thinks this way, but I am a whole-to-parts kind of thinker.  I use an organizing principle to begin, plan and end.   In my mind the tool looks like a wrapped piece of candy.  So, I start with an organizing principle to begin my planning, stuff all the details in as I go on planning, and end the year finishing up with the same organizing principle.

And this magical tool is -- a transcript.  I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW -- that's the scary part at the end of high school for most homeschool moms.  Just hang with me.  It's just a piece of paper.  (Mine is an excel document, but you can do it in Word or just on a piece of paper.)  

If you need to meet your state's requirements for graduation, this is where you take it into account.

First, take your blank piece of paper and put down categories that you want your student to learn.  And put at least 4 lines between each:

Transcript

Math

1.        

2.        

3.        

4.        

Science  

      

English

History

Theology

X-Curricular

       

Next, fill in what you know.  Do you know what math curriculum you'll use? (We're Math-U-See fans, here.)  Even if you're unsure if your child will make it to Calculus in his 4th year, fill in what you'd  like his high school to look like.  It's just a piece of paper.  

You'll obviously have some blank spaces.  Do your best to fill them in.  Don't know what English curriculum you'll use?  Call it English 1, English 2, English 3, & English 4.  Even if you don't know what x-curricular classes your child will take? Guess.  Might he like photography?  You have 4 years to make it accurate, for now just fill it in with your best guess.  When you're relatively sure about something, highlight it.  Then do a happy dance.  When you get a chance, move onto the next thing you're close to figuring it out.

Now, when you've filled it all out, you have a 4-year tentative plan. 

Mock Transcript

http://www.scribd.com/doc/225495765/Mock-Transcript

Next, you're ready to buy some books and start lesson planning. (This is the start of the candy part.) 

My finalized lesson plans look like this.  The kids get a printed copy in glued into their student planner and I glue a copy for me for each child into my teacher planner.  Then as the year progresses, I track grades on it and where we are in each subject compared to where my plan thought we should be (because those things NEVER match up).

Then at the end of the year, I update my transcript for what actually occurred through the year, adding class descriptions and a books read list (organized by class).  I also use my transcript to begin planning for next year.

How Do I Prepare My Kids for High School Work?

It's one of the big 10 questions every homeschooler gets - "What about high school?"

Most moms I know FREAK OUT (including me) when deciding if they can handle homeschooling high school their first kid.

#1  You’re not wrong to freak out.  Is it good to give cautious attention and consideration about who you marry?  Is it reasonable to be concerned about pregnancy and birth when you’re never done it before?  Then it’s reasonable to give cautious consideration about launching a child into adulthood.  Besides, it’s hard, as is good parenting.  Not impossible, but challenging.  

#2  Homeschool Connections is my favorite resource of all time for Catholic high school coursework.  You can read about our experience here. 

#3 Classes, activities and a good youth group has been GREAT for my high schoolers to socialize.  I’ve found it’s even more important in the high school years for my kids to have outside friends and opportunities for fun.  My kids get much of this from Catholic homeschool friends.  My kids have plenty of Protestant homeschool friends they love and friends who go to school, but their sense of identity can be solidified with like-minded friends when it comes to religion and world-view.

#4 Preparing kids for high school coursework

I tried so hard to adequately prepare my oldest for high school work.  As we started high school, I did find a few holes – that was a tough year for my oldest, but we both survived.  I have done a better job preparing my other kids for high school work. 

Now, I spend the middle school years working on 3 main skills: 

*Being accountable for their time and finishing assignments on time without holding their hand (or badgering) 

For this skill, I use a student planner and a hefty list of carrots and consequences. My favorite student planner is Good News Planners from Creative Communications.  Even my big kids like the boxes of the “Elementary Planner” better than the open spaces of the “High School” planner.  Here’s why I like that particular planner.

The way I use it is to give my 5^th & 6^th graders daily assignments.  I’ll break down big assignments into smaller pieces for them.  Eventually as they master that, I transition them so that by 7^th & 8^th grade I’m giving them weekly assignments and they can break them down into daily to-do list for themselves.  At first I monitor their to-do lists to make sure they’ve broken them down into reasonable pieces and they’re getting them done.  Hopefully, by the end of 8^th grade I’m only going over their planner at the beginning of the week  to get it set up and at the end of the week when they turn in their assignments.  This is how I handle the organization of their work throughout high school.

*Independently learning from a textbook & Ability to study independently and take tests  THIS SKILL is soooo IMPORTANT to any sense of a traditional highschool education.  It's not something kids innately know and it has to be taught.  It can also take several years to master.  It also isn't a skill covered in any of the delight-driven, literature-based, classical elementary school that I do with my kids.
       My favorite middle school resource for this is a good science textbook.  I cover how to teach this in Test Taking Skills.

*Paper Writing  This I a tough skill and although they work on it during all of high school, I want them to have the rudiments of it before then. Here is an example of the expectations I have of my kids in each grade level including high school.

 In 8^th grade each of my kids writes me a HUGE research paper following along with Seton’s Composition for Young Catholics. 

How I use the resource.  Starting in quarter 2 of the year (because the first couple months of school is always a blur), the kids do 1 chapter per week.  Starting in quarter 3 (2^nd semester), the kids do roughly 1 chapter per week.  Several chapters get more than 1 week: Chapter 12 – Note Taking gets 3 weeks, Chapter 16 – First Draft gets 2 weeks, and Chapter 19 – Final Edit gets 2 weeks.

Highland Dove Homeschool Co-op Classes for Year 4: American History, American Literature, American Government, Economics, Catholic Moral Theology

Year 4 Brochure High School

Organization Tool - Spreadsheets!

I'm so pleased with this tool. Just using slash marks I can track what we've done and what we need to do at a glance without worrying about rescheduling my lesson plans if we're off a week or two in a subject. Click on the link to see it bigger.

2011-2012 Assignments Example



How I use it: Each row is a week of school. I include a row for vacation / holiday time. In the date column, I'm also tracking what weeks we have Monday co-ops (orange=co-op). Theoretically I have 36 rows. Each column is a subject. "Seton" is this child's grammar book. I decided that I'd like her to do 5 pages per week. So I list the lesson numbers.

As she completes a lesson, I put a slash mark through it (mine are diagonal -- yours can be any direction you like). So, if she/we get the flu and we're off for 2 weeks, I know right where we left off. In a workbook it doesn't seem like I'd need this kind of tracking, but it also keeps me accountable for grading (it's happened that in March I think "it's been a while since I've graded grammar" and I pick up the book to realize I haven't graded since October, so I have no idea what she's learned and what she hasn't. I usually make up for it in the final months of school cramming what she missed *blech*.)

Math-U-See is done at the child's pace, so, as she completes a worksheet, I put a slash through a, b, c, d, e, f (the numbering for the worksheets in that chapter). When she get 100% on a worksheet (a-f) she can move onto the test, so I circle the (T). Once she passes the test, I put a slash through (T) and move onto the next chapter. It doesn't matter which week we're actually in when they get to an assignment. For example, we could be in week 5 by the date, but she could be working on chapter 7 in Math. It's a math curriculum for mastery, so she may stay on one chapter for a month and cruise through others.

I can also see at a glance if we've accidentally skipped spelling for 2 weeks when I thought it had only been a week while we caught up in science. The form itself reminds me that at the beginning of the year I really wanted her to write a paper per week in either history or literature and now that her wrist is healed, 6 weeks later, it's time to get back to it.

With this system I can daily track math and grammar while I only need to test on Vocabulary weekly. When something is strung out over multiple weeks (like history units), I can accommodate that. At the end of the year I can see what we skipped from my original plan and decide that summer fun is more important, or I'm desperate to read that literature book to them.

If I wanted to make it a page longer, I could add blank rows under each week and track grades with this sheet.

I developed this originally for my high schooler, but I keep a copy and give one to each child in 6th grade on up so they can fill out their student planner.

It doesn't seem like brain surgery -- but this has been GREAT for me! I've made them for 2 other families this fall. (it's too fun to keep to yourself!) You might have to make yourself a legend so you remember what your own abbreviations mean, but .... that's O.K.

(Did everyone know about a tool like this all these years and just not TELL me???)

Spouse Questing 101 : Summary

Some of my children are old enough to start looking around at the world (and their future) and asking questions. Here are some answers to questions they've asked (and haven't asked) about husband hunting, wife wishing, procuring a partner, looking for a life mate, mariting a marriage --- my title in imitation and admiration of The Once and Future King's Pellinore and his Questing Beast --- SPOUSE QUESTING.

Spouse Questing 101 :

• Lesson #1 To Thine Own Self Be True

William Shakespeare's proclivity for making the most ridiculous figure in his plays, the jester, reflect or speak the truth, this time in Hamlet.

• Lesson #2 Becoming Who You're Meant To Be

Going 'further up and further in' to find the dreams God has placed inside of you is a reference to C.S. Lewis' The Last Battle.
George Washington's Rules of Civility were his model for becoming who God meant him to be. Write yours down.

• Lesson #3 Draw me a picture

• Lesson #4 Shake the Trees

• Lesson #5 Submission to the Divine Will

These life lessons can be applied to many ages and stages in life. The process can be used for Spouse Questing or House Questing, Seeking Employment and Seeking Enjoyment, from Combating Loneliness to Attaining Holiness.

Spouse Questing 101 : Lesson #5 Submission to the Divine Will

You've learned your lessons well ...
Lesson #1 To Thine Own Self Be True
Lesson #2 Becoming Who You're Meant To Be
Lesson #3 Draw me a picture
Lesson #4 Shake the Trees

You've experienced the patience of Job and it's been an unreasonable time period. I was in year 8 of this process before I hit this stage. I spent 2 years on Lesson 1, and did 2, 3 & 4 simultaneously (thus the slow progress) for another 6 years. When I give warnings, I speak from whence I came.

At year 8 I started playing with fire and considered settling. How long is a healthy American girl supposed to wait??? I was wrong. It was completely wrong for me to throw away my dream. O.K. I learned about that one the hard way. But I'm still stuck, year 9 is approaching and no dream-boat.

It dawned on me. Maybe this wasn't what God wanted from me. I couldn't throw my dream away, but I did have to allow it to die and start the process of birthing a new dream. God!? WHAT DO YOU WANT?? Whatever you want, I'll do -- even if it's not what I want. I just want to be Yours completely.

It wasn't until I hit this place that I finally understood the almost decade long process I'd been through. Understanding myself was important. Becoming who God wanted me to was equally important. Deciding what I wanted from life was important. Making all reasonable efforts toward that end was important. Now, submission to God became the most important thing. I couldn't have submitted all of me if I didn't know who I was. I couldn't have given Him everything if I wasn't willing to be remade in His image. I couldn't give Him every part of my dreams if I didn't know what they were. I would be a less-than-worthy servant if I weren't willing to work for the dreams He'd placed in me. Now I needed to give all that work to Him like burning paper in a fire.
It. Was. So. Hard.
In one way it hurt more than anything had before because it was something I'd done and gained with Him. In another way, He'd given me lots of little practices along the way of submitting my will to His.
O.K. With His help I can do this. I started looking into becoming a missionary -- starting the process over again of seeing who I was in light of not being who I thought I was going to be (a wife, a mother).


It was then, that He gave me my wildest dream and I met my dream-boat. It was better (and harder) than I'd imagined possible. The last lesson in the death of a dream and completely submitting my future to God was part of the process for me. It may be part of your journey, too.

Giving up is bad - it's quitting. Giving in is bad - it's settling. Giving your dreams to God as a gift is sometimes, maybe lots of times, what He asks of us. As He's hanging there on his cross with His arms outstretched, He's asking "Do you love me like I love you?" We have to say 'yes.' He's trustworthy without yes.

Every quest ends in Him.

Spouse Questing 101 : Lesson #4 Shake the Trees

I had no qualms or misgivings that I WANTED to be married and I was seeking it actively, hungrily, like seeking employment or a place to live or new friends.

When you shake the trees, a coconut or two may fall on your head -- but you may also find the dinner you're looking for.

You've gone through the looooong process and
...you know who you are.
...you've become someone who is in a position to get what you want.
...you know what you want.

Now, you need to make it happen.

This is often a step many people jump to when still unprepared. They want to find someone fantastic, but they haven't done the work on themselves to become someone fantastic or they find someone who's a great fit for themselves, but can't hold on to them because their lack of virtues keeps them from being "marriage material."

This is also a step many people don't quite get to (and it's important). It's like paying for the car and forgetting to drive it off the lot. You and God have done all this hard work on you and you're worth having. Often, people who don't go out to make their dream happen just don't feel like their worth in obtaining it.

There is a third group of people who don't want to go out and make their dreams happen -- they want to stay home and let God bring the right person to them. This type of person is given over to prayer and is completely accepting of God's will. Please make sure you are close enough to God to accept every part of His will, even the death of your dream, with the same joyful acceptance as you would the fulfillment of it. Don't use spirituality as a cover for fear or laziness -- it won't end well. I'm not saying God is obligated to send you your dream-boat. However, you and He have prayerfully worked together toward this end and to not reach for the prize is just silly.

The first thing you should do is pray, pray, pray. Then, look around. Where are you likely to find this dream-boat you dreamed up? At a bar or at church? Should you look in the singles ads online or at CatholicMatch.com? Join a ski club if it's an activity you'd be interested in (it might have the added bonus of your dream-come-true being there).

Continue to put yourself in places and positions where you might find the kind of spouse you want - bible study, try another church within your denomination, help out a soup kitchen, etc. When you have an attitude of openness to meet new people and try new experiences, you're going to have the body language and social skills that enable you to be an approachable person. Don't forget to pray, pray, pray, pray, pray.

At this stage of the game, it's vital that you don't slip into one of the world's lies - that who you and God have helped you become isn't enough. You don't need to dress immodestly or throw yourself at someone. You're not less-than because you haven't found the right person, yet. You don't want to loose your identity and allow your behavior or choices to undermine who you've become. Don't settle for anything less than the complete fulfillment of your dream.

Spouse Questing 101 : Lesson #3 Draw me a picture

I read Should I Marry Him? and thought it was an excellent article on the topic.
When I was looking for a husband I had a picture in my mind of what sort of man he needed to be. It was a list of what I wanted/needed in a man. I was looking for an overall well balanced human being and I had the list divided into categories that deal with his whole person : mind, spirit, physical & future - this is a random order. Even while I was dating, the priorities on this list sort of jockeyed back and forth for top position -- none on the list was expendable:

Spiritual

• Fidelity - he had to be someone that wouldn't go out on me and cheat. I didn't want to be ANYONE's sloppy seconds. I was worth more than that.
  


• Character Virtues - like honesty, integrity, etc. It's nothing you can train a man to have -- either he comes to you with a solid character or he's not worth having. His parents either did a good job in this area or they didn't.
  


• Have a relationship with Christ - This was really important and often showed itself by having the above virtues. I looked for fruit of this in their lives like compassion, maturity, and balance in their reactions to stressful situations. As I personally grew in my Catholic faith, this evolved into wanting a Christ-centered Catholic husband. After dating some very nice men from different denominations, I knew the world-view differences could tear us apart and I needed someone who at the minimum would be willing to convert.

Mind

• Intelligent - I really wanted someone who was smart enough to look up to. What was inside his mind was as attractive to me, if not more attractive, than how he looked. He didn't have to be 'book-smart', he could be fabulous with fixing things or a math-whiz, but an area he'd tilled the soil of his mind to become someone who excelled.
  


• Common Sense -- I wanted to be secure in relying on his judgment, particularly in areas that I'm weaker.


• Secure Self-Identity -- I wanted a man who knew who he was. It's hard to respect someone who doesn't have a good self-identity (you can feel sorry for them, but not respect them). I also wanted someone who was confident enough in himself, to allow me to be myself. If I decided to start a business, go back to school, take up para-sailing or painting, I didn't want a husband who was too insecure to allow me to follow my dreams -- even the ones I hadn't started to dream yet. Plus, I have a VERY strong personality and I wanted someone who could hold their own with me. I didn't want a puppet, but a man.
  

Physical

• Be madly into ME -- I didn't want someone who was in love with love -or- didn't respect my boundaries -or- just wanted to talk about himself...but someone who thought the sun rose and set on ME and wanted to make ME happy more than he wanted to please himself.


• Treat me like a Princess - I wanted a knight who valued my dignity and treated me with kid gloves. I knew that, as a helpmate & a nurturer, it's easy for a woman to be taken for granted. Even while that's bound to happen, I wanted a man who would be looking out for my best interest - looking for my better-self, not just use me. Using isn't relegated to the physical, but things like watching what I wanted on TV or deferring to my wishes in multiple situations. *ALSO* this category was vital to the safety of myself and my future daughters. A man, no matter his stature, is stronger than a woman. An angry man is really, really, really strong. They are potentially very dangerous. I wanted a man who could keep his anger in check, no matter how mad I made him.
  


• Hard Worker - I explain this under "Looking to the Future".


• Perfect kissing height - I'm 5'6", so to stand with feet firmly planted (not on tip toe) and have to tip my head back in a comfortable position, he needed to be about 5'10. [at the time I didn't realize how much our kissing would be when one of us is sitting down and the other is leaving the room]

Looking to the Future

• Hard Worker - Even if we didn't accumulate financially, (which would be nice but wasn't top on my list), I wanted someone who wasn't lazy. I'd seen fun, lazy dads who allowed their children to suffer from want of something and who didn't go get a second job, go back to school, or do whatever it took to care for their family. I wanted a dad who would provide for his family.


• Nurturing - I was NOT just looking for a husband. I was choosing a father for the 5 or 6 kids I wanted to have. The example of a dad for a boy who will eventually become a man is immeasurable - he needs a model to know HOW to become a man. The gentleness and attention a girl needs from her daddy to become confident and secure can not be replaced by anything else.

I studied a prospective mate like I was going to have to take a test on him. I am/was a child of divorce and knew the devastating consequences of failing this test. I wasn't willing to put any sweet baby God gave me through the pain of being ripped limb from limb that divorce brings with it.

I didn't go into this process thinking I could change a man. A man is a man, and is often an immovable object. They will change, as will you, but not in ways that can be foreseen or manipulated, even by the best of intentions. I'd seen very very sorrowful women try to change the men in their lives and it left them with regret.

After you've made your list - read this article by Elizabeth Foss. Balance and competing advice from another loving Catholic mom all help you mature and see the world in all its complexity.

#1 Job - Pray. Know yourself well enough to know what you want. Pray.

#2 Job - Pray. Draw a picture of what your ideal spouse would look like. Put it on paper. Read it over. Look for those same characteristics in your dad, uncle, best guy friend. Pray. If you find a characteristic you want in your husband, add it to the list. Tape to your bedroom wall. Pray.

Spouse Questing 101 : Lesson #2 Becoming Who You're Meant To Be

If you want to marry someone worth having, you have to become a person worth having by someone who is that spectacular. Do you have healthy habits that contribute to becoming a wonderful person or that hinder the process?

After a spending a year or two learning Lesson #1 To Thine Own Self Be True, I found that making myself happy wasn't the end of the road. In dreaming my own dreams, I discovered that who I was in the present wasn't living up to who I wanted to be.

My question changed from 'what will make my parents/teachers happy' past through 'what will make me happy?' and transformed into 'How would the person I want to become handle this?'

To even begin to answer the last question, I had to go further up and further in, do some more deep sea diving and soul searching to find out who it was I wanted to become. Explore who you might become. Do things you haven't tried before. Don't do anything illegal or immoral or stupid, but something exciting and different. What would that be?

Is there a movie or book character you admire? What do you like about him : courage? lack of fear? perseverance? joy? confidence? What about someone from history or someone in your own life -- who do you admire and why? Are you a person with those attributes and virtues?

If you don't like what you see in yourself, change it. Our world tells lies, like 'people can't change'. George Washington took a good look at himself and the people around him, wrote down all the attributes he'd like to have - and became them. He's now known as the Father of our Country.

Do you want the good news or the bad news first? The bad news : This leg of the journey can be painful. To let go of childish ways and live as a mature adult in Christ with all the virtues and balance associated with it requires self-control and pounds and pounds of grace. The good news : Christ has an ocean of grace just waiting for us to ask for it. Also, self-discipline/self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit -- just living in a relationship with God (talking to Him, asking His advice, taking His advice, sharing our hurts with Him) opens our soul to bear the fruits of God.

If you think you need it, go to a good Christian Counselor (look for a counselor who comes highly recommended by someone who you think has it all together).

This lesson is more than just a psychological state of mind. If you are a man wanting a wife, you need to be prepared to support the family that comes with the 'fun' parts of marriage. You can't rely on the ability to finish school later or that your family or parents will get you through tough times. To prove yourself able to be marriage material is making a living before you start looking for a wife. By the same token, to look for a husband before you know how to cook a meal, take care of yourself, or are emotionally & spiritually willing and able to set your wants and needs aside for every other person in your family is irresponsible. I'm not saying younger marriages are wrong, that it's impossible for parents to help their married children, or that you have to be accomplished in every area of life before getting married. But part of being a mature Christian is bearing up under the weight of responsibility of your choices. Marriage is a big decision and shouldn't be made quickly or lightly before you've assessed if you're ready.

Becoming who God made you to be is worth the effort. He has a beautiful plan for you and He can be trusted.

Don't believe the lies.

• I could never get someone that great
• No one decent would want to care for me
• People don't change
• I could never become that kind of a person (successful, wise, holy)

Believe in the God who thought you into existence, knit you in your mother's womb, and has a divine plan for your life.

• I am worth loving.
• God wants me to embrace His plan for me. [He planned it and He placed it in my heart. Who am I to reject the Creator of the Universe?]
  
• No one will treat me better than I treat myself. [This isn't about indulging yourself, but taking good care of yourself.]
  
• Even if it looks impossible, God will help me. [This process can take years. Don't be daunted. The years will slip by no matter what. It would be a shame if you still didn't know yourself.]
  
• This task is hard -- but hard work never hurt anyone.

I spent years praying for God to reveal who was the person He meant for me to be. I begged Him to show me how get there. I spent years failing in my task to become. Even if I wanted to give up on myself, God's patience is inexhaustible. I continued to ask the questions and ask for His help. In answer to the question 'How would the person I want to become handle this?' I behaved as if I were already that person and in doing so... and God gave me the grace to become the person I wished I were.

Spouse Questing 101 : Lesson #1 To Thine Own Self Be True

Some of my children are old enough to start looking around at the world (and their future) and asking questions. Here are some answers to questions they've asked (and haven't asked).

Lesson #1 - Know yourself well enough to know what you want. If you don't know who you are, you're bound to make massive mistakes in choosing a spouse.

Learn about yourself. Write letters to yourself -- what do you want to say? Is your self-talk negative? Are you the person you wish you were? Who is the person you wish you were? Talk to healthy friends and ask them what you're like - have them describe you in phrases or single words. Are you really that person they think you are? What would your enemies or people who don't like you say? Are you really that person they think you are?

Do you feel free to dream your own dreams of yourself? If not, why not? What is standing in your way? What are the dreams? Don't worry if they're attainable, worry if you throw them away without trying for them. Is that everything you want to be? God has a plan for you, are you fulfilling it?

What about the relationships in your life -- are you truly happy (or just settling for what comes) with the way people treat you? You know you have to teach people how to treat you. What about the way you treat them? What goes around comes around (meaning you can't expect to have good friends until you ARE a good friend.)

When I was a teenager, Hamlet was required reading for English class. Even though the guy giving the advice wasn't worthy of respect, his advice was.

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

I read it. I let it become part of me. I recited it to myself during trying & unsure times. God made me with His plan for my life and He holds me with a dignity that I have to imitate in the way I treat myself.

My questions changed from 'what will make my parents/teachers happy' to 'what will make me happy?' Not the indulgence eating-a-pound-of-chocolate happy, but the healthy eating-a-balanced-diet-and-training-for-a-marathon-and-winning kind of happy. I was looking for the deep down genuinely proud-of-myself-for-accomplishing-what-I-wasn't-sure-I-could happy. The I-can-look-myself-in-the-mirror kind of happy. The I'd-be-thrilled-to-include-my-younger-siblings-and-grandparents-in-my-behavior kind of happy.

You may have to do some deep sea diving - literally and figuratively. Literally, if the person you want to be lives on the ocean and you live in the land-locked Midwest, do things to start to explore that part of yourself and see if that's who you really are. Figuratively, you may have to do some exploring inside of yourself to see who you really are. Dream some dreams for yourself an then act on a few to explore a side of you that even you didn't know about. Do you love to look at artwork? Pick up a brush and paint and see if that's who you are. Do you thrill at the way a horse runs through a field? Call several stables and see if they'll exchange your free labor for riding lessons. Do you miss the way the wind used to blow past your face when you were little on the swing set? Take up running and see if you're not more capable than you expected.

Once you find you have a knack, don't let someone else define what you're capable of doing with it. You can ask for healthy advice, but this is about your dreams for yourself. *AND* be careful with your dreams. Protect them. This is an application for the bible verse about not throwing your pearls before swine. If there is a dream killer in your life (or several), nurture your dreams within yourself and explore them a bit on your own so they've taken root and are healthy & growing inside your mind, before you share them with someone who may be a dream killer. Some of your dreams are just fanciful wishes. But some are dreams that God has dreamed just for you and placed in your mind. Nurture them and protect them before you expose them to the elements.

This activity of knowing yourself and exploring who God made you to be can take some time. I spent 1-2 years actively learning how to apply 'To Thine Own Self Be True" in many situations so I could lovingly "not then be false to any man." Stay here a while. Who are you? What are your dreams? Are you happy with the relationships & experiences in your life?

If you're not sure of the answer to any of the many questions above; ask Him -- He knows you better than you know yourself. And you're worth knowing. So get to know yourself -- well.

Dante in Translation & Beowulf, too

Since we can't read Italian, next year we'll be reading Dante in English. Oh, which translator to choose... On my many travels looking for which to choose (I found last year that the translation make a world of difference)

I had to take into account how well the work "flows" in English
-compared with- it's literal meaning
- compared with- it's poetic form
-compared with- getting a "feel" for Dante
-compared with- enjoying the literature...(whew)
I'll choose Mandelbaum for myself. For a less poetic, more understandable version, I'd suggest Esolen or Musa.

I found this post on The Well-Trained Mind message boards very helpful if you want to do your own research.

***********************************

For Beowulf there's no options : Seamus Heaney is easiest hands down. However, Kennedy doesn't (consciously or unconsciously) edit out the subtle Christian elements of Beowulf. Kennedy, too, has a poetic beauty to it -- it is not easier, though.

If you're looking for a younger age than high school there are lots of options. Ds#3 LOVES Beowulf: A Tale of Blood, Heat, and Ashes by Raven -- the pictures are a little...graphic and scary to me, but he loooooves the book. It's not an excellent retelling, but fine for a first exposure to Beowulf.

Great Education for Less Money

Homeschool Connections Online has recorded courses. (Click on the link and at the top of the page click the tab "Courses", then scan down to "Subscription to Online Catholic Courses". Scroll down past the paypal buttons to read the FAQs, How To, & available courses.)

I knew they were a great resource -- many are taught by college professors and Ph.D.s -- especially once we tried their 7 days for $1 deal. (Follow the instructions above and click on the paypal "Subscribe" button.) During our 7 day trial, Dd#1 chose a literature class on Tolkein and did the week's worth of homework and all the recorded class each day for the week. I gave her a quarter's worth of high school credit for her intensive week and we were HOOKED! Once you subscribe to their recorded courses, you have access to any and all courses that were previously taught live through Homeschool Connections Online.

Her live teacher through Homeschool Connections Online, Alicia Rollings, has been sooo patient with Dd#1 and genuinely encouraging. Maureen Whitman, who started Homeschool Connections Online has been helpful when I messed up our computer and had to find a substitute. Everyone's been great to work with. When I was looking to put Dd#1 in a Latin class this year, it was $500 - $650 for classes in town and those online. Homeschool Connections has been GREAT for the cost (~$360/year) and the learning that's going on has been excellent.

It's $30 per month for their recorded courses. So for the cost of one course, we can have access for a year's worth of unlimited learning. ($30/month * 10 months = $300)

We've already chosen all our classes for her 9th grade year, so I was looking for next year. Since we knew the recorded courses were excellent learning opportunities and a great cost, I just had to figure out how we'd use them. I made the spreadsheet below to help me sort it all out in my brain. (Am I the only mom out there who thinks better with a spreadsheet??) It's hard to see online, but if you download or print it, you can see what recorded classes I think would fit with our school plan for Dd#1. There's not a grade level on the recorded classes (just "high school" or "middle school"), so your child may do them in a completely different order than we will. The grey classes are live classes this year, 2010-2011, so they'll be available as recorded classes at the end of 1st or 2nd semester this school year. I'm not sure how many we'll end up using -- but I KNOW we'll do some (many?) of the recorded classes.

Homeschool Connections recorded classes allow me to teach as much or little as I deem prudent while giving her the well-rounded education we're striving for. It's also REALLY reassuring to know we've got a resource that will be academically challenging, interesting, is easy for all of us AND is SUPER INEXPENSIVE!!


Home School Connections

The Iliad - Teaching Pagan Literature from a Christian World View

I'm teaching Dd#1 and a good friend's daughter Literature of the Ancients this year.

Doesn't that sound nice? Academic and high schoolish. One problem. I can't read it. I mean...I CAN sound out the words and put meaning to the words. But all of it together...nope. (It doesn't help when I set aside 1 hour of reading time and I counted 13 child-interruptions in that hour before I gave up. That's 13 times they CAME to me to interrupt me. That doesn't count the thumps, bumps and cries from the other room they didn't bring to me but I heard regardless.)

We just started. Right now, we're struggling through the Iliad. Dd#1, having been immersed in a Classical Education for the previous 8 years is doing the best. I am doing the worst.

Here are my HELPS TO TEACH THE ILIAD :

• Heroes of the City of Man: A Christian Guide to Select Ancient Literature, Peter J. Leithart - although this isn't a Catholic work, this is a FANTASTIC christian author who makes reading pagan authors much more palatable by his world view. Rather than encouraging his young readers to divorce themselves from their Christianity in reading these B.C. authors, he helps students read with an understanding of a lack of Christ in these characters. This purchase will help us with Homer's Iliad, Odyssey & Virgil's Aeneid. It also contains information for reading Theogony, Eumenides by Aeschylus, Oedipus Tyrannus by Sophocles, The Bacchae by Euripides, and Clouds by Aristophanes.
• A Companion to The Iliad by Malcolm M. Willcock - This is keyed to Lattimore's translation, which is closer to the Greek. My library had a copy of this. It's all the footnotes that you wish were in the Iliad to explain places, literary references, cross-references, character information, historical perspective, etc.
• Iliad of Homer, translated by *Lattimore - It seems funny to use the book itself as a help to read the book. It's because Lattimore's introduction, while fairly boring, gives INVALUABLE help to read the book. Thematic, character and historical summaries as well as where the book fits in the literature cycle of the Trojan war...this was a BIG help and I've been referring back to the introduction over and over again as I read/teach.

*Another option would be read Fagles translation of the Iliad. It isn't as academic, but gives a good feel of the story. In the end, digesting and enjoying what is read is more important than having an erudite experience that was lifeless. Homer meant for his audience to enjoy his stories and Fagle allows you to be swept away in the story!

Dd#1 is enrolled in Kolbe and she is using their lesson plans. My friend's daughter isn't. I've been surprised that I've needed to dig deeper as a teacher even though I have access to Kolbe's lesson plans. We're just in our first few weeks of this, so I'll keep you updated.

Other teacher helps have been

• Monarch Notes for the Iliad (oop)
• Teaching Company CD's Iliad of Homer by Elizabeth Vandiver

One of the BEST Resources for Catholic Homeschool Highschool

We have really been impressed with Homeschool Connections. Dd#1 took a Homeschool Connections Latin Class! (because I've assisted as far as I can without actually knowing Latin and now it's time to outsourse.)

Jenn's Top 10 Reasons to Love Homeschool Connections

1. It's Catholic. Genuinely Catholic, not pretending so they can get an agenda across, just lovingly, happily, Catholic.


2. The teacher, Alecia Rollings, seems to genuinely enjoy working with the kids. She made the class fun and Dd#1 really appreciated her encouraging feedback.


3. The way the kids can interact with each other using the rolling text chat helps them tease, have fun and get to know each other. Within the first few classes, we were tossing around names of kids whom I'd never met, but with whom Dd#1 seemed to have made a connection. (a "homeschool connection")


4. She learned a TON and I DIDN'T have to disrupt anyone else's school and I DIDN'T have to get everyone out of the house (it can be like herding cats) and I DIDN'T have to drive around town and I DIDN'T have to waste time in the car and I DIDN'T have to pay for gas....so many things about this work for me.


5. It was really easy to use Homeschool Connection's software program and they walked us right through technical difficulties. Actually, they tried valiantly to help us with technical difficulties -- the real problem was my kids in the next room needed to quiet down. All we had to buy was a headset/mic from Walmart and we were cooking with gas!


6. Dd#1 really liked the video feed on the teacher. Having non-verbal feedback (a smile) to her mistakes made her feel welcome and at ease.


7. A few hours after she attended the class, she could hear the recording of the class (in case her siblings were too loud during that part) or if she had to miss a class, she didn't actually miss any information.


8. Dd#1 submitted all the homework directly to the teacher who graded it. Homeschool Connections doesn't keep records for the kids' grades, but the teacher does assign a grade at the end of the class.


9. It was the cheapest "live" Latin class she could attend that I could find -- but seriously not cheap on quality of education. Of all the classes in town I could drive her to and all the classes online I could sign her up for -- it was really inexpensive.


10. She has also liked the "auditing" feature of classes. In the spring, we took advantage of their 7 days for $1 to survey any of their pre-recorded classes. Dd#1 chose a class she was interested in (Tolkein with Dr. Robert F. Gotcher) and she listened to and did the work of that pre-recorded class for a week while I reduced her school load in other classes. So, she took an 8-week course, submitted the homework to me, and I could give her credit for it. The 7days/$1 deal is a one-time-offer. We'll definately be signing up for their $30/month subscription to get access to all their pre-recorded classes. Dd#1 said it was a little frustrating when she couldn't answer a question she knew, but for the price -- I'm ok with that!

Kolbe High School Combinations

I love how Kolbe entertwines so much together. I really wasn't satisfied with American History as it fit in with World History and not it's own separate subject. This is a possible schedule I came up with.

So we'll be following a modified Kolbe plan for high school.

Letting go a little at a time

I'm anxious about Dd#1's 8th grade graduation ceremony. It's a lovely ceremony in June that our Catholic homeschool group puts on for 8th and 12th graders.

I don't have to do much of anything, so I'm not anxious about that.

We've had Confirmation and we've been preparing for high school -- and you'd think both of those things would make me stress more than some little (although beautiful) ceremony.

At the park, a friend nailed down why I'm anxious (thanks, Dawn.)

It's a finality. The childhood part of her life is really closed.
You're ushering in the transitional years to adulthood.

That's it. That's why I'm anxious. I know the next 4 years are so very precious and they'll fly by. I have such a short time left with her -- and so much to do -- so much to teach -- and what if I do it wrong. It's less about academics (although that's part of it) and it's more about helping her become the woman God means for her to be. Woman. The word makes me woozy when used in context of my little girl. I yelled too much when she was little -- I'm better about that, now, but I can't go back and hold her on my lap and read her a quick story to make her know how much I treasure her.

I feel like I lost some of those precious years. I was tired from having babies. I was overwhelmed from learning how to do my job. I was still growing into my vocation. I can't get those years back. I have such a short time to teach her the tremendous dignity of her femininity and the balance of submission vs. standing up for what you know is right and when to do which. I have so few years to help her internalize how to treasure her own heart before she gives it to someone else. If God calls her to be a nun it will mean an even bigger sacrifice to me. I give each of my children to Him for His purposes and trust Him -- but it's hard.

I feel like my relationship with her will be forever changed when she's an adult and then when she leaves our home. Even if she lived at home for college, she won't really be mine, anymore. Not mine to scoop up and toss in the air for a giggle and dance around with. I'll have given her to the world -- and to herself. Her decisions, her time frame, her activities will all be her own. As it should be -- but she won't really be mine, anymore. It's more like I'll be hers. Hers to spend time with when she can fit it in. I'll be her mother in the capacity that she'll allow.

This is really scary stuff and I can only cry out to God to help me grow the virtues she'll need, so I can help teach them to her.

8th grade graduation seems like such a little step, but it feels like I'm taking one more step to a fast approaching destiny that I only have so much control over. My time is now. And the time is so precious; as precious as she is to me.

A Year With Shakespeare

Wow, this is more fun than I realized. I was just really intimidated, but after looking into it, I'm getting excited.

A friend of mine was hosting a homeschool highschool year long Shakespeare class and I put Dd#1 in it. After a month, I decided that it was too much time away from home and too hard to find a place for the younger kids while she was in it.

When I took her out, Dd#1 really wanted to continue to study Shakespeare, so I told her that we could get some homeschool kids who are close by and hold our own class. *Then I actually had to do it.*

Jenn's A Year With Shakespeare : Lesson Plans
Materials :

• Folger's Shakespeare Library of each work you want to cover. These run ~ $6 each. I chose 6 plays & we'll cover 16 sonnets. (I'd normally choose 8 plays, but I figure the sonnets make up for the other 2 plays.) If you want to take vocabulary or analysis, this series is the best student series I've found. I'm really pleased with it and so is Dd#1.
• Hewitt Lightning Literature Comedies & Sonnets also Hewitt Lightning Literature Tragedies & Sonnets $25 each This is normally a self-teaching 2 semester highschool course. I'm going deeper than that course goes, but it's a good jumping off point. A Midsummer Night's Dream, As You Like It, Merchant of Venice, Twelfth Night -&- Hamlet, Julius Caesar, King Lear, Macbeth
• Brightest Heaven of Invention: A Christian Guide To Six Shakespeare Plays by Peter J. Leithart ~$15 This is an excellent aid to reading Shakespeare from a Christian perspective. All the speculation about Shakespeare being anything but Christian is hooey and it's trying to remake the bard in the image of somebody he wasn't. This work could be all you need to make up a class for your kids' highschool course. The guy who wrote it ran a homeschool co-op class on the topic and then wrote the book off his lessons. GREAT stuff! Henry V, Julius Caesar, Hamlet, Macbeth, The Taming of the Shrew, Much Ado About Nothing

Catholic Components :

• Dr. Henry Russell has a CD set that I bought through Kolbe called "The Catholic Shakespeare" It's interesting enough for your highschooler to listen to. The last fourth of the CD is the Catholic part, the rest is just literary, moral & biblical in nature. Good stuff. The CD's run $15-$20 but Kolbe added about $5 shipping when I bought 1. I've only listened to MacBeth, but Hamlet and The Tempest would be interesting listening, too. This CD gave me the vision and framework in how I wanted to tackle Shakespeare.
• Encyclical - Immortale Dei : On the Christian Constitution of States His Holiness Pope Leo XIII It's free at the Catholic encyclopedia site New Advent. It was tough to get through, as are most encyclicals (have a Catholic dictionary and maybe a regular dictionary handy) but once we got in the swing of it, good reading. I'm glad I didn't ask her to cover it without me. It's a good one to read with one of the king stories of Shakespeare (Macbeth, King Lear, Julius Ceasar, Hamlet)

After Listening to Dr. Henry Russell, I've decided how I'm going to teach Shakespeare. Much the same way we learn the bible. I'm incorporating Lightening Literature for Part I. It includes writing prompts that will be great with this class.

I. Literal Sense - what happened in the play.
II. Moral Sense - is what is happening good or bad (for the characters, for the larger themes as well as the subplots).
III. Biblical / Typological Sense - how is this character or circumstance like someone or event from the bible. Also biblical themes like Resurrection / Redemption, etc.
IV. Eschatological Sense - how does Christ factor in (or not) into the play and how does that fit with what we know to be the "big themes" of the bible (The Church, last days, heaven, hell), etc.

Within that framework, we'll fit in

• symbolism and all the literary devices that Lightning Literature has for this highschool course
• Information on Shakespeare's time period (some listed in Light. Lit., some listed in the Folger's books)
• Themes to each of the books

We'll meet twice a month. I thought we could cover 1 play per month and one pair of sonnets in a two week period. I'm also assigning 2 papers per play and one paper per sonnet pair.

The kids will come with play read and the Comprehension Questions anwered (from Light. Lit.). We'll spend about 15 minutes going over the comprehension questions and iron out any questions the kids have about what was going on in the play. Then we can move onto the good stuff : themes, symbolism, moral, biblical and escatology of the plays. We'll spend at least 2 hours discussing that. I'll let them choose a writing assignment (many listed in Light. Lit. and in the back of those lessons, more listed in Leithart's book.)

The next session we'll finish up (or continue depending on interest of the kids) discussion and if we have time well watch a recommended DVD. (Peter J. Leithart has very specific reviews and recommendations in his book listed above.) One of the papers per month can be an analysis of the DVD or play we've seen. They'll choose a 2nd writing assignment for that play.

In the third session, they'll turn in their previous assignment and we'll cover a set of sonnets with them choosing a writing assignment. Then, we'll do it all over again with the next play.