Tuesday, August 25, 2009

What are some favorite gifts you've received?

My dear friends on the Oro et Laboro Catholic Homeschool message board liked
this story of mine in answer to the above question -- so I thought I'd share:

I was pregnant for my 3rd child and suffering from a severe depression. The doctor and all my friends were insistent that I get on medication. My husband just as insistently didn't want me to. At the time I was just suffering and didn't understand. He told me that I reacted badly to every medication I took and wasn't thinking like myself and begged me to rely on his judgement above everyone else. He also reminded me that I don't even take a tylenol when I'm pregnant for concern over the baby and brain-altering medication would make me question my judgement for years to come every time the baby had a problem. He told me he'd help me get through it and we'd get through it together. I was lost in a mire of muck inside my own head and no one's words touched me. I was just in pain and confused, but chose to listen to my husband. My friends and doctor thought it was selfishness on my husband's part to allow me to stay in so much pain.

We were really broke and I forced myself to go to a baby shower of a friend on Mother's Day weekend. I came home and he had bought and installed a 2' rose stone colored Mary and grotto in our back yard while he'd been watching the 2 & 4 year old. He bought me an outdoor freestanding swing bench and a portable telephone. He encouraged me to sit in front of Mary for the hours he was at work while the kids played in the back yard and keep the phone by my side. He promised to call me from work and I could call him whenever I felt the need. It was still a very difficult pregnancy. I had our first boy (who was supposed to have been a girl) and immediately felt like myself. I could have kissed his feet for keeping me off the medication. In my right mind, I'd wouldn't have ever chosen to take it and he knew me when I didn't know myself.

We've moved since then and took Mary with us. She sits outside my kitchen window and the memory of how she came to us is one of trust and hope in the middle of a pain.

1 comment:

  1. Love that story, Jenn. I went through depression with my second pregnancy (not to mention unrelenting heartburn), and my family doctor wanted me to take meds, too. He said, "Most pregnant women are
    happy, if they want the baby." I changed doctors pretty quickly. My husband didn't buy me anything, though? Would it be wrong to smack