The saying goes, "If Mama aint happy, aint nobody happy." That is VERY true in our house. However the same goes for Daddy. I had a mother who beat her husband up verbally at every opportunity. They are no longer married. It's just not worth it to me to have temper-tantrums - there are consequences. That thing about "the two shall become one" is soooooo true (whether we quite understand it or agree with it at times or not). So, if I hurt him, it ultimately hurts me.
Amy and I had a great conversation that she relates on her blog. While I fall far short of her goal (which I can tell you from experience that she accomplishes that goal!!), I try to be very fair when talking about my husband. My darling husband told me early in our marriage that he had a hard time finding good friends because so many men spoke so poorly of their women. He wasn't interested in being friends with a guy who had so little respect for his life's-partner. The truth is that Dave's better about it than I am. I do try very hard to be fair, but am so impressed by Amy that I have to take another look at my goals. I never wanted to put my husband down, but doesn't a great guy like Dave deserve a goal higher than a wife who tries to be "not awful."