This last part of pregnancy has been tough. I don't even feel like blogging or talking on the phone. The physical pains already described here in this space haven't diminished -- some more have crept in. Serious insomnia even with taking Benedryl every night (although I'm getting lots of reading in). I've also been struggling with intense mood swings (they don't swing all that positive, though) and depression. Dave and all my friends and my midwife have all been working hard to keep me on an even keel, but I'm still fairly tossed by the waves of what's going on inside of me.
Dave and I had a long talk today (after our fight last night- we didn't throw anything at each other, it just felt horrible) and I thought from last night that he didn't want to be my friend any more. It was a terribly painful realization last night. Today, I told him how desperately I've needed him and no matter how much I didn't want to be so needy right now, I just am. He said that each pregnancy takes HIS best friend away from him and that he knows this is hard on me, but it's hard on him, too. I told him that I missed me too and I can hardly wait to get back the person I used to be. We agreed it's just hard all around. He understood me. Then, after making sure the kids were packed and shipping them off to his mom's, he took me out for dinner. My painful realization last night was a misunderstanding perpetrated by both of us struggling to keep up with this. Life is hard, but God is good. (terrific Pam Thum song)
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